My First You-Suck Letter from Academia

I have two goals: 1) don't return to America jobless, and 2) don't return to America homeless. Obviously, the second is not as great a worry as the first: upon return to my beloved metro-Detroit, we will bunk with my mom and dad-- but not for too long. Kindness can, and does, wear out. My parents are getting older, and deserve to walk around the house naked eating toast without Evan toddling after them.

To alleviate some worry on the first point, I've applied for a few jobs. Three apps were for tenure-track teaching positions at various community colleges. My mother-in-law (also my secretary-- HOLLA!) sent Andrew an email saying I received a letter from Kellogg Community College in Battle Creek stating I am not a finalist in the Swan Pageant. Next fall, I guess I won't be teaching ENG 101 to a handful of semi-interested, semi-smart freshmen while the scent of Frosted Flakes wafts through the air.

The truth is that I am completely gutted, yet somehow feel very official-- I've just been shunned from my first academic job outside the womb of CMU. My academic hymen is broken. I hope it was better for them than it was for me.

In other news, it seems Andrew is the first student in Ireland to attend university and also have a family. The DCU sports club had no membership provisions for people like us, until Andrew's advisor (and Irish Guardian Angel) wrote to the Marketing Director on our behalf. Funny how stuff like that works out. We're allowed to join, at the steep-assed price of e270.00 for six months, which still beats the public family membership of e390.00.

I miss American universities, where spouses get proper access and reasonable discounts on amenities. Hell, I miss amenities.

Where ever we live next year, I'm not putting quarters in any washer or dryer. Some people think Ireland is quaint, but that's just a nicer wawy of saying it's old and crappy.