And the award goes to...

OK-- so, my mock award from last night's Orientation Banquet is: BEST STORYTELLER.

What's up with that? Here I was, vainly hoping for MILF-- and I come home emptyhanded. So I'd rather be recognized for timeless animalistic beauty instead of talent...

I knew I should've gotten implants before the banquet. That would've won it for me.

For sure.