Implants and Minis

I've decided that two things would make my life 111% better than it is at present. These two things are: 1) breast implants, and 2) a Cooper Mini.

It seems like the most successful people in the world own one very large thing and one itsy-bitsy thing. For example, a big big house and a tiny dog; a stretch limousine and a midget chauffer; an Olympically-deep pool encrusted with zillions of tiny diamonds, etc.

It's probably pure power to own things that are complete size-opposites-- to do so means you are one, maybe three, steps closer to unifying all that is diametrically opposed in the world. I find that prospect very alluring.

In fact, as soon as I finish another half hour or so of computing final grades, I'm off to make this dream a reality. Since I only have about $20.00 in my pocket, I'm going to go to Goodwill to buy a pair of very large men's shoes, and then I will walk home in them while eating a very tiny ice cream sundae.

Trump that.