Mama's Mental Illness

Mothers of toddlers are mentally ill. I am qualified to make this conclusion for three reasons: 1) I am a mother, 2) I have a toddler, and 3) I have become mentally ill since becoming a mother to a toddler.

This AM, I was getting ready for work. The sounds of "Mister Roger's Neighborhood" pleasantly filled my ears as I lifted the mascara wand to coat my eyelashes with goo. Who should join me in the bathroom but Evan, my curious, overly helpful, I-have-to-run-not-walk two-year-old son. Before I knew it, Evan had plucked my little container of bobby pins from my make-up bag. His little fingers pried open the box, and soon enough he was doing his "sneaky walk" (envision a bent-knee side-stepping squat) all over the house and shoving little handfuls of bobby pins under closet doors, under the dressers, etc.

So, I shouldn't let him play with bobby pins, right? Because they are a choking hazard and all. But, because I embrace wholeheartedly my son's explorer spirit, I pretty much let him play with anything he wants. I took him by the hand, and we went around the house collecting the bobby pins, and I set him up in the hallway, explaining, "Mama says play with the pretty-pretties where she can see you." That was OK with him, and that's what he did.

The mental illness doesn't come from letting Evan play with bobby pins. It comes in when I do things like refer to myself in the third person, or say anything beginning, "Mama says..." Fill that ellipsis in with anything-- "...we're not going to put Daddy's deodorant in the toilet," "...don't put the fork in your hair, please," "... we're not going to draw on our faces today," "... we should keep the water in the bath tub..."-- and you will notice that MOST of my day is spent telling Evan what NOT to do. I'm not emphasizing the negative, I'm just setting foundations for proper social interaction. That is, by telling him what NOT to do, I'm creating a stronger person for the future.

In college, it will probably be OK with his roommates if he plays with the bobby pins; but, he will have learned that it's not OK to wash people's deodorant in the toilet.

Questions?