Po' Bastard Roasts a Chicken

Po' Bastard has roasted chicken numerous times. Usually, Po' Bastard puts a lemon up the chicken's ass, cuts up some carrots and potatoes, and plops it all in a roasting bag. This method traps moisture, making the meat and veggies very tender. And while texture is important, the chicken skin doesn't get brown and crispy, as it does without a roasting bag.

Last night, Po' Bastard felt vintage, and harkened back to the days of roasting a chicken sans bag. And, another change: Po' Bastard put a few cloves of peeled, smushed garlic up the chicken's ass, along with half an onion. Then, Po' Bastard draped some slices of bacon across the breast, and sprinkled the bacon with pepper.

The chicken came out brown as a sorority girl tanning in preparation for her trip to Mexico over Spring Break.

Sweeeeet.