Aunt Becky's Chicken Salad

It is rare that Po' Bastard shaves off sheets of culinary arrogance and posts a recipe from someone else. However, during the recent visit from Grandma Marcie and the two great aunts, Becky and Vonnie, Po' Bastard was treated to a sandwich spread so tasty and divine, she thought it best to share it with you.

Aunt Becky's Chicken Salad

Ingredients:
-1 large tin chicken breast in water
-Mayonnaise (and yes, it must be full-fat) or Miracle whip
-Sweet relish
-salt and pepper, if you think it's really necessary

Method:
Drain chicken and flake it into a bowl. Stir in enough mayonnaise to make the chicken of a spreadable consistency (like tuna, see?). Add sweet relish to taste. Spread on toasted white bread and enjoy like the wee piggy you are.

Notes:
-If you're lucky enough to get your hands on a Sally Lunn bun, from Bath, Somerset, England, put the chicken salad on that. It's like a big puffy hamburger bun, but with a buttery taste like brioche.
-You could add things like chopped onion and a sprinkling of dill; and I suppose you could even put a slice of cheese or tomato on the sandwich, but I wouldn't risk it. I am now convinced that nothing beats the taste of pure, unadulterated FULL-FAT mayo with sweet relish.
-Eat with a large side of very crunchy, very salty, very American potato chips like Ruffles.
-People who will like this recipe: poker players, playahs and their accessories, the Olsen twins nutritionist, Monica Benzin.