Some Evan-isms

Here are some funny (and a little weird) things my kid has said lately:

1. Andrew and I were sitting out on the front stoop, watching Evan run up and down the sidewalk. We were marveling at how ugly the neighborhood looks at the end of winter, grass all brown and littered with decomposing dog shit; rubbish collecting in the bushes, etc. I turned to Andrew and said, "Looking around at all this makes me feel a little white trash."

Evan's response: "No, geen." (As in, no, don't be daft, mom, we're not white trash; we're green trash.)

Uhhh, OK.

2. Evan, standing by the side of my bed at 5:30 on a Friday morning: "No ghosts."
Me, thinking he had a bad dream: "There aren't any ghosts. It's still night. C'mon, you have to go back to sleep." So, I change his diaper and rock him for a minute, and he sleeps until 9:00 AM, when we have another conversation.

Evan: "Where's dad?"
Me: "Dad is sleeping in Mama's room."
Evan: "Dada is a ghost."
Me: "Oh, really?"
Evan: "Yes, Dada is a ghost in my house."

Come to find out that Andrew checked on Evan at 5:00 AM, before he went to bed; and Evan was in that sleep state where you're awake enough to be aware of movement and noise, but still asleep. He must've been aware that Andrew looked in on him, but it was really pretty creepy.

3. Evan, at a speech screening to help determine what his needs are at a language-intensive summer camp he will attend, looking at a picture of a horse jumping over a fence: "See the poop?" points at the brown ground underneath the horse.

Speech therapist: "No, I don't think it's poop. It's the ground."

Evan: "No, no; it's poop. See the poop?"

How can you argue with this type of insistence? It's not possible.